Realizing Your all I Need
by valid consideration
Summary: Karen has to learn to mend a broken heart, while Derek has to learn how to love. Not good at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

This is my second SMASH fanfic, so i hope you enjoy:) R&R don't be afraid to comment.

Disclaimer: SMASH is not mine

Time line: Right after Karen has finished her performance of "Don't Forget me" and she is in her dressing room.

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Karen starred into her watery eyes threw the vanity as tears where now strolling down her cheeks. They where the kind of tears that made it hard to breathe, hard to think...the tears that burn you right to the core and left you a sensation of emptiness. The emptiness was a leisure right now, as it let her mind try to fill the void, and not think about the arising feelings and questions she had about Derek and love.

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"stop it..stop crying" she felt her heart beat loud and her muscles tense up at his touch, now noticing Derek kneeling down before her with his hand on her face.

"Derek, I'm alright...I just need to be alone right now"

"Oh bloody hell Karen stop lying to yourself!...i know it hurts right now, but get over it"

Karen looked with disbelief at Derek "_get over it?_" she huffed as she said those last words and then pulled away from his grip "_Get over it?_ Is that all you can say? How I am I supposed to get over the fact that Dev cheated on me with Ivy, and then proposed to me?..." her eyes where now focused on Derek's, as she tried holding back the tears that threatened to start pouring down again.

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"Karen I..I didn't mean it that way" Derek tried to reach for her hand, but reluctantly pulled away as she began to cry again

"Listen to me, you can't blame yourself for what Dev and Ivy did."

" I'm not blaming myself! I know it is not my fault..." the words came out with more anger, than she wanted to show

"Yes you _know_, but I don't think you even believe yourself..."

"Derek..I..I...I can't do this right now, please just leave me alone."

"No!I can't leave you not like this, not until I am sure you understand"

Karen moved so they could be face to face and only inches apart" understand what?"

" understand that your life is not ruined...that you don't need Dev. You have talent, that is why you got the role tonight. You have friends, so you know you're not alone.. that is what you need to understand _love_, that you still have your whole life and career ahead of you. So stop crying over that sod because he does not deserve your love.." he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and then headed out the door

"wait Derek!" she grabbed on to his forearm and then kissed him on the cheek, "thank you"

"for what?" Derek looked sincerely puzzled at her

Karen wrapped her arm around his"for being my friend...and believing in me"

"well if we are friends, you could have found a better way to say thank you to me..._"_

Karen playfully slapped his arm"Derek!"

"just kidding _love_..shall we get going?"

Mutual smiles where shared as both walked out the back exit and into the cold dark night.

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what did you think? please comment ;p


	2. Ooh geez Karen

Sorry for the late update, but hope you enjoy! This is both of thier Pov's so tell me what you think...as always R&R

Disclaimer: Smash is till not mine, althought me and my Emmy partner in crime like to think it is...;)

Chapter 2

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Karen Pov

The loud shrill of a phone echoed thought the whole room, which I thought at the begging was just my imagination... but soon my eyes adjusted to the dark surrounding and I realized I was not in my room. With panic quickly overtaking me I jumped off the bed, but stumbled on something on the floor "Oww Bloody Hell Karen watch where you're going!...Who the hell is calling?" I sat on the floor while still in shock as my mind realized who it was. That distinct British accent, and that smell (that was now becoming overwhelming, but I liked it anyhow)...It was Derek..but what happened yesterday? Did I sleep with him?...no no he is on the floor, I shook my head trying to clear my mind and not let my imagination get the best of me.

The ring of the phone became more and more persistent " Karen can you turn on the lights" Derek's voice bellowed across the room "oh..okay.." I said while trying to maneuver across the room searching with my finger for a switch. Once the lights where on, Derek went swiftly for the phone " Hello?...Yes this is Derek...What happened Jessica? I can't understand … you have to calm down and stop crying..." I could hear her sobbing and concern quickly filled my mind. "what happened?" I whispered to Derek, but all he did was shrug as a look of concern appeared on his face when tried to decipher what Jessica was saying. "Oh,I see.." a smug grin appeared on Derek's face, but Jessica was speaking too low for me to hear anything that she was saying. "what happened?" I mouthed to Derek.

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Derek Pov

" Ooh, so you can't find Karen?...and she is not answering her phone? Don't worry Jessica, I know where she is...yes I will tell her to call you...okay bye." After I hung up the phone I could not contain my serious composure anymore, which earned me a playful slap from Karen followed by

" You're such a jerk Derek!"

"am not.." I protested as we both broke out in laughter

" you may want to get dressed...you know since Jessica and Bobby are out looking for you frantically" at that a very deep cherry stain appeared on her face, as she now realized she was in her bra and underwear... what a intriguing sight to wake up to. " Here you can put these on.." I said throwing a shirt and a pair of my sweatpants at her. " Or you can stay like that...you look fine either way, but that red does look nice on you.."

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Karen Pov

I felt my cheeks start to get red..until the point I think they burn...I am almost half naked in-front of this guy! Why am I half naked? I thought as Derek threw a shirt and a pair a sweat pants at me. I looked at the clothes and then at him...how is this going to fit me? I am practically going to be swimming in the pants and the shirt will fit me more like a dress. "..you look fine either way, but that red does look nice on you.." at that I decide to just wear the shirt as my hands settled on the bottom of the shirt, tugging at it to make sure Derek could not see my red underwear ( you can't blame a girl for matching!).

"calm down Karen, nothing happened yesterday.." said Derek with a smug smirk on his face, which made me blush even redder...why did he have this affect on me? And am I that transparent? " what happened yesterday and why was I only in my underwear?" I said letting my nerves get the best of me. "Well where do I start?..after we left the theater, you decided we should have drinks...but after you had one too many I told you we should go, and then well...you kind went a little crazy..."

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" Crazy? What do you mean?" I say with confusion written all over my face..ohh geez Karen what did you do? and why did Derek not sleep with you?...forget it that does not matter right now, I say to my self as I realize Derek is staring at me with a grin...ugh he is soo annoying! " why are you laughing? and you didn't finish telling me what happened.." I say towards him, with a little anger in my voice as I cross my arms. " I am laughing at the fact that you don't remember what happened yesterday love,...and after I told you we should go, you said and I quote " I don't need another controlling man in my life, so why don't you leave me the hell alone!" and than you cursed at me soo much that I thought you where speaking a different language, and I am sure you did not learn those words in Iowa miss Cartwright.-"I unintentional starting laughing at Derek's imitation of my accent, which made him stop mid sentence " is there something funny miss Cartwright?" says Derek as he puts a serious face on..all I can do is stick my tongue out at him as he continues to tell me what happened. " So after your rant of how you hate Dev, you spilled your drink on your shirt and without hesitation decided to take it off..and that attracted some unwanted attention from onlookers. I could not leave you their all drunk and ditzy so I told you to come home with me and you agreed...and now we are here, by the way I don't know what you did with your pants..they must still be here somewhere..." said Derek looking around the room. All I could do was stare at him looking for my pants..and then after a while decide that what he said was true, and that my pants are nowhere to be found. What am I going to do now? I can't show up like this to see Jessica and Bobby...I can't show up to see anybody like this, without questions being asked...geez Karen what are you going to do?

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Please comment! ;)


	3. Just breathe

I am so** SORRY **for the super late update, it is just i was spending a couple of day's with my sis before she had to leave:( anyway i hope you enjoy please R&R

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Derek POV

I could not help but stare at her from the corners of my eyes, while I absentmindedly was 'looking' for her pants...what was she thinking? From her facial expression all I could discern was frustration and concern ..those doe eyes which presented the slightest sign of helplessness, and those lips..those bloody lips!

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"What am I going to do?" She huffed out as more of a indirect question, then a personal one."what do you mean love?" I say, letting my concern for her well being get the best of me...I swear I'm becoming a sod, letting this girl..the Cartwright girl get to me. " I just..." her voice dies off mid sentence as she looks up at me,and I can see that all to well known _helplessness_ this is not the usual 'scared rabbit' routine, but something more...and I can't bare to look at her distraught any longer so I look away, searching aimlessly out the window. " Derek..I..I.." she walks up to me and leans on my shoulder, and all I can do is hear her cry. I dare not speak, for fear that I will say something wrong.

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After what seemed like ages her breathing finally settled down. Her head now laid against my chest and her lingering smell of vanilla did not let me concentrate on the situation, all I wanted to do was sweep her off her feet. So I did. With one swift movement she was now settled in my arms. No Derek! You can't do this to her..not now, now what she needs is a friend. Karen tightened in my embrace for a mere second, and then I felt her relax as she held on to my shirt tightly. I moved us both onto the bed, so my back now leaned against the head board, as Karen laid resting against my chest. I could stay like this forever I thought, as my hand unconsciously reached for hers and began rubbing little circles into her soft skin. " Derek?.." she whispered quietly as she sat up, " yes love?.." I instantly respond as she looks at me. " Promise me..promise you'll never lie to me..", her eyes resemble those of a sad puppy, lost and confused but still hopeful, or perhaps still wishing their is still some good in people. " I promise love." I say and notice a small smile appear on her lips as she leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

Settling next to me, I wrap my arms around her and breathe in her intoxicating scent of vanilla. " You know sooner or later you will have to deal with the drama." I say trying to gain my composure. Karen's voice has a new sense of certainty now as she responds " I know, but I rather it be later than sooner. All I want to do now is forget about the drama..forget about my problems and rest.." " rest?" I question "love that is unheard of in show biz" I add with some sarcasm. " It's not unheard of Derek..it's just..hard" she points out as she openly challenges me. " Well how do you plan on resting then Ms. Cartwright?" " I don't know Mr. Wills...what do you suppose we should do?" She ask mocking my British accent. I answer in a serious tone " Love never do that again...you're accent is bloody horrible" " Derek..yours isn't anything great either" " but I'm a Brit" I say mocking confusion " So..that doesn't matter" she rolls her eyes playfully and sticks her tongue out at me as we both burst out into laughter. " I don't know what we will do..but for now you should get some sleep, because you look horrible.." at that Karen playfully slaps my face and snuggles up next to me.

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Right now everything is going fine, but I have to do something. I have to do something to protect her from this ruthless business, and even from her self at times. I can't let what I feel for her, or what I think I feel for her come before what is best for her...The Cartwright girl was getting to me, but that did not matter right now...right now I was content in knowing she was safe here in my arms.

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As me and my E/O/W partner in crime say * sigh..even crazy dreams can come true...ohh and #teamCartwills, since most of you probably heard of the 'Kimmy' speculation (that I refuse to believe will happen!).


	4. He's no Good girl

OOC:This is a really long chapter..well it is for me at least, I had part of this pre-written so please comment on how it is. as always R&R, and warning this is a song chapter! Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: SMASH is not mine!

A/n: This chapter is Dedicated to my partner in crime! ;)

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Karen POV

I was awaken by two people squealing and jumping on me. " What happened?" I ask still in my sleepy slurred voice. "Iowa you had us scared to death! Where did you go after the show? You went Mia on us after your big night, what happened?" answers Bobby while I notice Jessica is about to explode..here it comes.." Yeah what the hell did you do? What where you thinking running off like that! You had us worried Iowa.." I get up to give a very angry Jessica a hug "I'm sorry I don't know what happened..I just needed to get away from everything.." I smile at both of them, in hopes to lighten the mood.

"Where's Derek?" I ask searching around the room, only to figure out he is nowhere to be found...typical batman. "You mean the dark lord?.." says Bobby with his best British impersonation, which earns a well needed laugh from everyone. "No really where is he?" I ask " calm down Iowa..first you have to tell me what happened between you two.." I can tell by Bobby's evil smirk that his 'theory' of what happened is yet another rant of Derek having a thing for me. " Well Iowa..can you answer one question..is he good in bed?" I break out into laughter by Jessica's question, do they seriously think I slept with him? "hmm that bad?.. I thought he would be good in bed...Jessica you owe me twenty dollars..I knew she would have rebound sex with him..cough it up Jess" Jessica reluctantly hands Bobby a twenty in-front of me. Wow these people have no shame on placing bet's on me! " No I did not have rebound sex with Derek! And you two placed bet's on me again? Hand over the cash I will keep it as collateral damage.." I say motioning to a gaping Jessica and Bobby. " okay.." "okay.." Both mutter in unison as they surrender their cash." Oh and by any chance, did either of you bring me clothes?"

"Almost forgot about that..here you go" my black studded bag is throw at me full of clothes and miscellaneous items. " Aww thanks..I'll be right back" I say running into the bathroom and locking the door behind me. Once I am inside I let the water run hot and let the pulse of the shower head sooth my stress away. "You guys wanna go out today?" I yell so that Jessica and Bobby can hear me from outside the shower " yeah sure..how about you Bobby?" ask Jessica" ooh yeah and I know the perfect place to go Iowa" affirms Bobby, and from his voice I can tell he is excited.

O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

" Why did you wanna come here?" I ask Bobby through all the noise and someone butchering the song 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger by Kelly Clarkson'.. this is a sight to see, a bar full of people having a good time and absolutely no space to even walk in, much less find a booth for us to sit in. "Iowa over here!" I heard Sue yelling at me as I walk right by the booth they are sitting in. " When did you guys get here?" I ask Sue and notice Dennis/Bobby/Jessica are sitting along with this new girl in the booth. " Oh Bobby called us, you know so we could celebrate.. silly me I forgot to introduce her to you this is Ana." explains Sue over the loud applause fort he group of girls who butchered yet another song. " Hi Ana I am Karen, nice to meet you...Why are their so many people here Bobby?" I ask after receiving a greeting from Ana " It is karaoke night Iowa everyone is here to sing of course!" answers Dennis with much enthusiasm.

" C'mon Iowa let's go show them what real talent is! I know the perfect song!" squeals Jessica and Bobby..i swear those two are twins separated at birth! " no I am not in the mood how about later, you two go have fun" I answer while looking around the bar and notice a familiar person, by person I mean batman...Derek see's me and gives me a small nod while drinking what seems to be scotch. " Whatever Debby Downer! Your loss!"screams Bobby while running to the stage with Jessica and Sue. " I'll be right back..I am going to the bathroom" I tell Dennis and Ana who are too busy in conversation to even notice I leave. On my way to the 'bathroom' I take a detour and sit next to Derek on a bar stool

" so what's up?" I ask while swiveling around on the chair like a child "Nothing..why are you so happy?" answers Derek looking at me, which makes me feel like an idiot so I stop moving and turn to face him. " I might have had a few drinks with the gang..why did you leave the hotel room?" I look at him skeptically, as I hear Bobby/Jessica and Sue singing 'Set Fire To The Rain' in the background and boy can Bobby tear it up out there. " I see your-..." Derek stops talking as his eyes lock on to something, or maybe someone and he starts to get up and then I see who it is...Dev..JUST MY LUCK!... " Derek sit down.." I whisper in his ear while putting my hand on his shoulder forcing him to face me " I thought he wouldn't bother you after what I told him..that Sod has no shame!" answers Derek with his brows beginning to furrow and as he make fist with his hands and anger is written all over his face..I have to admit it scared me a bit..wait when did Derek talk to Dev? "Wait when did you talk to Dev?" I ask Derek as he sits back down next to me and orders two shot's "I 'talked' to that sod when I was looking for you after you pulled that disappearing act on me" answers Derek as the shot's arrive and he hands one to me. " Thanks, but what the occasion?" I ask while eying the drink and looking back at him " you're gonna need it love.." says Derek while pointing at Dev, and I look over and notice his arms around a girl and they are making out "that pig!" I say with as much disgust as I can muster and take down the shot in one gulp.

Dev has his arms on the girls lower back as she straddles his waist with her legs..oh and is it a coincidence the girls a brunette?No..I didn't think so! Derek has ordered another round of drinks, and well I don't hesitate this time... " Well didn't he get over heartbreak easily..I'll never understand what 'love' means at this rate" I gape at Derek for actually saying that! " I thought you understood love?...jerk" I answer mocking hurt as I nudge his shoulder. I order more drinks as I hear Bobby/Sue and Jessica ending the song and I scream,yell and cheer as loud as I can, and so do all the other people in the bar. "I doubt that is any of your business Ms. Cartwright, but if you must know I do.." answers Derek as our drinks arrive " I'll be right back.." I say after taking the shot running off to the stage and talking to the DJ.

I get on the stage and hear the gang cheering for me and see Derek raise a glass to me and then chugs it down, how classy...I motion for the music to start and the ensemble cheers really loud as Jessica and sue join me on stage..this is gonna be good..*( Drums and guitar playing in the background)*

_Hey, good girl__  
__With your head in the clouds__  
__I bet you I can tell you__  
__What you're thinkin' about__  
__You'll see a good boy__  
__Gonna give you the world__  
__But he's gonna leave you cryin'__  
__With your heart in the dirt_

That earns a smirk from Derek..as I grab the microphone off the stand and see a wide-eyed Dev staring at me...tonight is gonna be fun..

_His lips are dropping honey  
But he'll sting you like a bee _(At this point I bend down so I am facing a guy and when our lips are about to touch I push him away and sing the next verse)_  
So lock up all your loving  
Go and throw away the key,  
Hey good girl_

_Get out while you can  
I know you think you got a good man_

I hear the crowed cheer us on as Jessica and Sue sing the chorus and I notice Derek is not at the bar anymore.

_But he's really good at lying girl  
Yeah, he'll leave you in the dust  
'Cause when he says forever  
Well, it don't mean much  
Hey good girl  
So good for him  
Better back away honey  
You don't know where he's been_

I sing this directly to Dev as he stare at me and all I do is laugh. I walk off the stage and jump on a table as Jessica and Sue follow my lead.

_He's no good, girl  
Why can't you see?  
He'll take your heart and break it  
Listen to me, yeah _  
I see the familiar figure leaving so I run up to Derek and run taunting circles around him to emphasize the verse as he sits in the chair in-front of me.

_Won't you open up your eeeeyes?  
It's just a matter of time 'till you find  
He's no good, girl  
He's no good for you  
You better get to getting on your goodbye shoes.._

I hear the crowd roaring and lose track of Dev at the sight of everyone standing and cheering. A feeling of excitement and content is all I feel as Derek stands up and I give him a hug, "thanks" I whisper in his ear because it is too loud to talk " for what?" he answers laughing. "For Getting me drunk... and cheering me on" I say while pulling away from him but still holding his hand "love, you where amazing..but a bit flat on the bridge" answers Derek in his usual sarcastic tone " shut up! And is that a compliment from you Mr. Wills?" I answer in an equally sarcastic tone "I suppose it is Ms. Cartwright.." says Derek as he kissers my hand... " you know you're not that bad Derek, behind all that darkness there is a good person..and I like that person" I say not realizing what I even meant.. good person? Derek? Like?..I think I had one too many drinks..

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Comment! and if you want to know the songs featured on this chapter :

"Set Fire To The Rain"-Adele

"What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger"- Kelly Clarkson

"Good Girl"-Carrie Underwood

thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

So SORRY for the super late update..hope none of my adored readers are mad =(..With school and all, my schedule has been hectic and I had no chance to update. It is shorter then i wanted it to be but i didn't want to hold up on this any longer. Anyway hope you enjoy please R&R!

A/N This chapter is dedicated to the AMOOZING theater is love31 who has been my e/o partner in crime ..this is for YOU!

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It has been two months since the mishap at the bar. Two months since opening night in Boston, and one too may nights of restless sleep. I was and still am constantly busy with all things Bombshell, whether it is promotional events or just plain rehearsal I have worked my heart and soul out in preparation for Broadway. Through all this commotion that was now my life, there where those few moments..those moments when I let my mind wander..those moments when I would close my eyes and remember and in return I found myself short of breath, and face flushed at just the memory.

I debated after leaving him jaw dropped in front of the bar going back to tell him how I felt.. but at that moment I was a mess and to be honest I have been running away from those emotions since the begging. I was Stupid..I wanted to think it was just the heat of the moment; after that revenged filled song I found myself staring at him as he talked about how great I was on stage..I saw this glint in his eye..or was it just me seeing things? Long story short, I lunged at him like a freaking cat..I dont know why, but at that moment it felt so right. Remembering his lips on mine kissing with the exact intensity I was giving, scared me a bit. I pulled away not because I wanted to, but because my mind told me this or whatever that was..was wrong. I felt complete trust in Derek..and that trust only went to an extent, I felt like I was taking advantage of him..yes you heard right me taking advantage of Derek..the irony in the situation. So without any word I stepped away from him and muttered my apology, wich he probably didn't hear because my fingers where on my lips relishing the short-term warmth he gave in his kisses.

"Bloody hell Karen..i need you on stage now! leave your day dreaming for elsewhere we mean business here!"

Gosh I missed my cue agian..i didn't even notice " I am Sorry "

I still feel bad for leaving him there..and since then we have not spoken a word to each other besides things about the show.

"Karen you need to Speed UP! I need you on the stage by the time they start the melody..it's like I'm working with a bunch of imbeciles here!"

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Derek had been on a less than nice streak since last week...ever since he missed that one rehearsal. I admit I was a little worried about him not showing up..but I just thought...or I heard from the latest ensemble 'gossip' that Derek been spotted with an attractive woman the night before. My heart sank but why did I feel this why?..I was never one to get jealous..and I was not entitled to get jealous we are, and where never a THING..even though Jessica swore that we had a relationship on the down low, the thought of that made me laugh like an idiot in front of everyone.

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Broadway was just one month away, but we still had a lot of things to do..more practice followed by previews followed by more practice and previews..a never ending cycle of try and mishap. We where running the scene for 'Wolf' the momentum was impeccable, the timing was perfect..but when I looked up to Derek's face I saw pain..like literally agony...I thought it was just a migraine from the "all gods..and bloody hells" thrown at me and the ensemble today, so I kept the pace up with the number. "..Yeah I never met a wolf who didn't love to ...DEREK!" everything happened so fast, Derek was on the floor and I couldn't stop myself.. I ran to him.. "shh..Derek it's gonna be alright..stay with me..Derek please..Dererk.." I could feel my throat get tight and tears falling from my eyes like a waterfall..Derek please..

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Please review ;3


	6. Peaches?

See! i updated early...anyway i had a lot of fun writing this chap please R&R like always =)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own SMASH, but on that note i will like to thank and give co-writer credit to theater is love31 thank's potato! for listening to my ranting and being there for my writers problems! and i want to thank Baeslay, both of these people are incredible writers ;p

oh and thank **YOU** the reader...anyway here it is..

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Please Derek..

It was 2:57 am and I had been waiting hours in the hospital, which smelled like industrial cleaner and death..if death and sorrow had a scent it would be this. I had not spoken to anyone or moved from my seat since arriving in the ambulance with Derek. Jessica had been kind enough to bring me a change of clothes, since my Marilyn attire was stained with blood. I kept having sudden flashbacks to the moment when Derek fell and hit the floor with a loud thud; I ran up to him heels and all as I shook him trying to wake him up...but he wouldn't, I put his head on my lap and yelled in horror as I saw my hands and dress had blood all over it.

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" Ms. Wills?" asked a older man, no older than 37 waving his hand in my face trying to gain my attention. " You are Ms. Wills aren't you?...because only immediate family is allowed to visit...hello?"

"Ooh sorry I zoned out for a bit...umm..yes I am Ms. Wills..doctor can I see Derek?" I say trying not to let my voice quiver anymore than it already is.

"wait Karen..you aren't marri-" said Jessica and Bobby looking at me with slight shock

"Shut up!" I whisper to them and then quickly turn around to speak to the doctor "can I see my husband now? please doctor I need to see him.." I play into the mellow-dramatic house wife scene as I plea with the doctor, while simultaneously eying Jessica and Bobby who where the only ones willing to stay with me after the accident, everyone else had gone home..what good friends.

" Don't worry Ms. Wills..he is stable..he is right in room 347..I'll be with you and your husband in a minute..you can go ahead" the doctor gave me a concerned look and pointed to his room..point one for Karen, this is only one of the perks of being an actor. I am about to walk over when Jessica pulls me towards her "Karen what is wrong with you? Your gonna get into serious trouble if they find out!". "Well they don't have to know I'm a liar then..so shh..and you two go home I'll be alright..plus Bobby needs his beauty sleep" I point to a drowsy eyed Bobby to emphasize my words. " Kk..but fill us on the deets later! Let's go Jessica.." says Bobby while pulling a reluctant Jessica along "but..but..okay..don't get into any trouble Iowa!" I laugh looking at Jessica and Bobby walking hand in hand down the hall and screaming like idiots..I gotta go see Derek..what room is it? Oh yeah 347...

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"345..346..347" I am standing in front of Derek's room..oh god, why are my palms sweaty? and my hands trembling on the door knob?...I open the door swiftly and see Derek sleeping on the bed..he looks calm and almost happy..almost. "Bloody hell Karen come in! I'm not dead you know!" nice, sarcastic as ever I see. "Derek.." I don't care that my voice is trembling or that my heart is pounding, I run and literally leap on the bedside as I hug Derek and hold him tight. I can't help but to start crying..gosh I'm a wreck. "Shh love it's alright I'm alright...don't cry Karen it breaks my heart." Derek is rubbing my back with his hands as he kisses the top of my head and I settle in his lap as he cradles me..this moment, no his touch is blissful.

"Umm am I interrupting you two? I'll come back later.."

"NO..No..no...please come in" I say getting off Derek's lap and standing next to his bed, as the doctor walks in..I swear I could feel my cheeks burning red hot.

" Now Mr. Wills..let me start out by saying you had a close call..you had a minor concussion from the fall..which was caused by low levels of blood sugar, and you would've gone into a coma bec-"

"wait COMA? Why? How?!" what is wrong with Derek? Calm down Karen..calm down

"Well Ms. Wills the low blood sugar was caused from lack of nutrition,or in other words he hasn't been eating..his Keaton level was 24mM which is substantially high...at that level we are lucky he did not go into a hypoglycemic coma,as that level of Keaton is toxic to the body he could have possibly died."

"wait Ms. Wills?.." Derek is looking at me skeptically completely ignoring what the doctor just said

"Yes babe...where married don't you remember?..it must have been the fall" I say smiling at the doctor and squeezing Derek's hand as he catches on to my inquisition. "Ahh yes Karen it must have been the fall.." Derek pulls me close and kisses my neck causing me to giggle like an idiot...and then I remember what the doctor said "Derek.." I say in a serious tone "when was the last time you ate?" "love..that doesn't matter right now" he smiles at me,but I'm not buying into that act.. "Seriously Derek what have you eaten in the past 24hrs? Huh? C'mon Derek you had me scared" as I say that I pout throwing my little tantrum and cross my arms over my chest. "Let me think love..in the past 24hrs I have eaten..coffee,scotch and water...a well balance meal I should say! You know doc she is a horrible cook I think that is why I starve myself.." Derek's face is as calm as ever when he speaks. "Derek..you liar! He is joking doctor..but I'll make sure he eats from now on, even if that means I have to feed him like a child" I swat Derek's shoulder as we both break out into laughter..the doctor must think we are idiots.

"I see..how long have you two been married?" the doctor ask eying us beyond his clipboard. Damn! I didn't think of a back story.. "3 years..the best day of my life is when I married her..you know she is meaner than she seems..you don't want to get on her bad side, because her claws come out RAWR!" I find myself gaping like an idiot..Derek is such a douche.. " That is only partly true..he is a big softie...you should have seen him crying at the ballet the other day..isn't that right babe? Oh it is alright honey you don't have be ashamed that you cried like a baby.." I pat Derek's head as the doctor looks away trying not to laugh and Derek is a deep red color..gotcha now!

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"You both seem happily married..but have you seen any mood changes Ms. Wills? Stress, other illnesses, emotional/physical discomfort, extreme temperature changes, jet-lag or environmental factors that may be bothering your husband? Have you been keeping your sleeping diary and taking your medication for your acute insomnia Mr. Wills?"

"Nothing is wrong doctor I just forgot to eat that is all...and I don't need that medication I can sleep whenever I want to" Derek is slightly irritated at the implication..wonder why...hmm. " Well doctor he has been a little bit more cranky than usual and the stress is from work and from moving I suppose..don't worry I'll make sure he takes his medication, when can I take him home?" I feel a little embarrassed at the implication that I will be taking Derek home with me..the gossip tomorrow will be horrible! But going home with him is the only way I can make sure he is alright. " Yes doctor when can I go home with my beautiful wife?" ask Derek while smirking..ooh he is so adorable...adorable/more like devilishly handsome as he describes himself.

"Well since I know he will be taken care of..we will discharge him after we are sure he eats something light..here you go..eat up..once your done you can go home." The doctor hands me a little cup filled of cut peaches with a spoon on top " Here you go eat up" I hand Derek the little container as he looks at me as if I am crazy.. "Sods! I hate peaches with a passion..they are disgusting vile things...can we just go?" asks Derek trying to stand up. " No you have to eat..plus this is the only thing your stomach can hold right now..I don't care if you don't like it your gonna eat it." I open the little cup up and hand the spoon to Derek "c'mon eat up". " Karen I am seriously not eating that" Derek tries to stand up again, but this time I pull him by his hand to the bed and eat one of the peaches " see not so hard..they are good now open up..here comes the airplane!zoom zoom" I talk to him like I would to a child as he laughs at me. " Why don't you bird-feed me while your at it?" asks Derek while I shove the spoon in his mouth and he looks like he ate a sour apple " Bloody hell this is gross!" "Derek I'm not going to bird-feed you! Now open up and take it like a man..gosh your worse than a child.." Derek laughs at my frustration..insensible bastard! " How about this if you eat your peaches, I promise you that..i will do whatever you want the rest of the night.." OMG! What the hell did I just say? Derek is jaw-dropped and I seize the opportunity to shove the rest of the peaches In his mouth, as he swallows them he has a dirty little smirk on his face. Yeah you know the smirk, the one that get's you all rosy cheeked. "Derek I didn't mean it that way..I mean..ugh Derek your a jerk!" ughh! His little smirk is stupid..and his dreamy eyes too! My train of thoughts is interrupted when I feel those all too familiar lips on mine..and I close my eyes savoring the moment, my arms wrap around his neck and his hands play and tug at my hair.. "love let's go...I mean..go home" says Derek he pulls away and my arms remain around his neck as we both smile at each other "yeah let's go home.." I feel like a teenager all over again as I look at Derek and he kisses my forehead..gosh I am falling..falling deeper in love with him ever moment..

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so what did you think? ;3


	7. Wake up to reality

let me start out by saying i don't really like how this chapter turned out but i have something planned for the next one! As always R&R!

A/n: Me and my e/o partner in crime (theater is love31) have decided to publish one-shots about random improv moments with Cartwills. You can go on my profile page and vote which one you want to read first, or sound off in the comments. And The chapters will be dedicated to reviews/viewers like YOU!

This is kind of Derek's Pov enjoy!

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I heard a faint cry from the wind blowing by..no it wasn't a cry..it was singing. That all too familiar sweet melody that kept him up all night disturbed and confused of how he felt slowly but surely losing all self-control over his thoughts, his actions, his feelings..it was truly taboo. " Derek.." he heard someone call, he turned and saw a dimly lit stage and a face carefully peeking out the side of the red curtains the ones that separated fantasy from reality. She was intoxicating utterly beautiful no words could describe how naturally flawless she was; her scent, her touch and especially her voice was what drove him crazy at times. His mind had wondered as he found himself walking up to the stage once again tracking down his scared little bird. A small whimper was heard from the back room, his pace quickened and his heart that was not filled with anguish threatened to come out his chest. There she laid on the floor wearing a white dress that looked as though it was painted on her body. "Love..." at an instant he was by her side, but she cold...those eyes that always danced with light where now dark, glazed over with a look of helplessness. "Derek.." she was still alive, but just barely " please don't make me go..I want to stay here with you" her voice cracked as tears strolled down her cheeks. "Shh love it's gonna be alright" I start rocking her in my arms now seeing the full extent of her injuries, a long gash on the side of her neck and several cuts and bruises all over her body revealed just how serious the situation was ..what happened? Blood now completely flooded the surrounding floor and painted her dress a frightening dark shade of red. " Karen.." he tried his hardest to stay strong for her..but no response.."love,Karen please wake up..Karen..please.."

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"Derek wake up we're here..hurry up or the taxi is going to charge us extra!"yelled Karen waiting outside the taxi waving for me to get out. Wait...it was a dream? But it felt so real..I now feel the full effects of the pounding headache that is arising in me and as I step out of the car I stumble in to Karen's arms "Derek hold up! I told you the medication they gave you would have you drowsy, so take things really slow..c'mon you can lean on me if you have to" after paying the driver we head to the entrance of the building.

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The elevator is cramped full of people returning home from their grueling night shift which is always busy even in the wee hours of the morning. I am standing in the back corner of the elevator with Karen soo close to me that I could feel whenever she inhaled or exhaled, she shyly smiles at me as my hands wrap around her waist keeping her close...keeping her safe. The door dings and opens and we exit the elevator, my hand never letting go of her's as we glide through the cramped ambiance. Before we reach my apartment door I stop her right in her tracks and give her a soft long kiss, as if to make sure that this is not a dream, that she is here, that she is safe; and then it hit's me like a ton of bricks just how close I was to dying today, just how close I almost lost Karen. "I love you Karen Cartwright, and I would never do anything to hurt you" she stands there clueless and socked at my response...but that is alright as long as she is here with me everything is gonna be alight..because now I realize your all I need.

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REVIEW! and don't forget to vote..:)


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